PWP
by Tori Hitokori
Summary: Sick, demeted, and truely lacking a plot! Folks I think we have a winner!
1. Cheap Porn, aka Plot What Plot

Disclaimer: I do not own any products or characters associated with Gundam wing, and I  
do not make any money off of this it's purely for fun.  
Warnings: It's YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI (Gay People). So if you don't like don't read  
Bad Language.  
Spoilers: Cheap porno jokes, and self insertion (you know some people just don't like S.  
I.)  
Tori Hitokori: I don't think that those were pwp's  
  
Duo: They had to be! I mean for practically the whole fic I was giving Hee-Chan the best  
fu-  
  
Heero: Omea o Korosu!  
  
Tori Hitokori and Duo: You know you liked it Hee-Chan.  
  
Duo: Hey that was my line.  
  
Tori Hitokori: Would you rather I beat you to it or share they glory.  
  
* duo shoots a mini glare o death and I shrug it off*  
  
Trowa:.......  
  
Duo: so did you like reading the fic Tro-Kun  
  
* Trowa has a nosebleed and leaves to the bath room*  
  
Tori Hitokori: Wow that was quicker than Wufie!  
  
Wufei: You unhonorable Onna! And don't call me wuFIE it's WU-FEI!  
  
Duo: I wonder where Quatre is?  
  
Tori Hitokori: probably fu-  
  
* Quatre comes bouncing in the room with a cheery smile on his face*  
  
Quatre: Hey you guys, I thought I heard my name?  
  
Tori Hitokori: 0.o  
  
Duo: And you were saying Hitokori-Chan  
  
Tori Hitokori: Oh and it was the best fic I ever read.  
  
Duo: what kind of fic was it?  
  
Tori Hitokori: Oh duo it was a good old fashion steamy fu-  
  
* Wufei nosebleeds running to the bathroom with Trowa and Quatre blushes*  
  
Quatre: don't you think that is a bit inappropriate.  
  
* gets an evil smile*  
  
Tori Hitokori: actually I think it is inappropriate seeing the matter of the material  
  
Quatre: I'm glad you agree.  
  
Tori Hitokori: on the contrary I think it is inappropriate material because you know my  
favorite pwp couple is 3x4.  
* Quatre faints at the thought*  
  
Duo: Wow he was even better than Wufei!  
  
* looks at Heero  
  
Tori Hitokori: SO Heero exactly why haven't you done anything?  
  
Heero: Hn.  
  
Duo: because he likes the kinky talk. I mean he may think that I'm a talkative baka now  
but when we are screwing like animals he loves it when I talk-  
  
* then duo's braid was stuck in his mouth by Heero. and I take it out*  
  
Duo: when I talk-  
  
Tori Hitokori: No!  
  
Duo: but-  
  
Tori Hitokori: Jx2  
* he shudders then nods*  
  
Tori Hitokori: So lets get the others back out here and talk about this topic. Heero go and  
get them.  
  
Heero: Hn. What purpose doesn't his talk have?  
  
Tori Hitokori: None of your concern now go.  
  
Heero: The perfect solider must have perfect understanding before a mission is  
accomplished.  
  
Tori Hitokori: Rx1  
  
* he swiftly leaves to get Trowa and Wufei. then returns with a small cup of water, and  
pours in on Quatre*  
  
Quatre: Nani?  
  
Trowa: ..........  
  
Wufei: unhonorable ONNA!  
  
Tori Hitokori: let us talk like rational people about plot what plot.  
  
Duo: they are SUGOI! especially the hot steamy  
  
Tori Hitokori: 0.o "E"nough we know that. But they are not plot what plot. some of the  
authors give a rather plot like set up. A true plot what plot would be like "OH GOD  
FUCK ME TROWA" with that he thrust him member deeper into the nymphomaniac  
right on the first sentence.  
  
* Trowa has fainted on the floor in a puddle of blood, and Quatre turned bright red, and  
Wufei now remains in a catatonic state, while Duo is sending Omea o I am going to fuck  
you stares at Heero whose eye brow is slightly twitching and he shifts in his chair.  
  
Tori Hitokori: I guess I am going to have to several true plot what plots. Hmmm. Let me  
call Treize and Zechs, I mean it wouldn't be certain if it didn't have my beautiful gentle  
men's approval.  
  
* a cell phone appears out of fanfic space* (fanfic space a space in which any thing can  
appear out of in case there are no current spaces to take an item Although spandex space  
is available I respect Duo's piece of a@@)  
  
Tori Hitokori: is Treize there?  
  
Lady Une: May I ask who calls to speak to his excellency?  
  
Tori Hitokori: *Stephanotis Accadia* representative of the non-yaoi fan club. I would  
like to talk to Treize, excuse me his excellency seeing to it that I have proper permission  
to use his name in any of me and my associates brief fanfiction stories, and discuss the  
matter of the story it self and see if he approves?  
  
Lady Une: * sounding gentle like and happy* I will have you transferred to his private  
line at once Accadia-Sama.  
  
Tori Hitokori: Thank you, Miss  
  
Lady Une: *thinks* maybe latter along the lines a plot what plot staring his excellency  
and myself  
  
* I sit waiting listening to waiting music which happens to be "Do it till ya satisfied"*  
  
Tori Hitokori: do it uh, do it uh, do it till ya satisfied.  
  
* Duo burst out into laughing*  
  
Duo: Non yaoi fan club. hahahahaha  
  
Heero: Shut up baka.  
  
Duo: Ya see he wasn't trying to shut me up when I was talking about hot steamy fu-  
* once again his braid is stuffed into his mouth*  
  
Tori Hitokori: Hey Hee-Chan that braid is great for a gag, if you know what I mean. " cuff  
em' partner"  
  
Trowa: * in a wisper* cuffs check.....whipped cream check......mmmmmmmmm bon.....   
  
* me, Duo, and Heero look at trowa*  
  
Everyone who is sane and awake: 0.o  
  
* the music stops and Treize is put on*  
  
Treize: look I have asked this fan club and it's followers several times to stop calling me,  
and if you call one more time I am going to-  
  
Tori Hitokori: Treize you and Zechs make a cute couple  
  
Treize: Excuse me, this is the Non-Yaoi Fan Club right?  
  
Tori Hitokori: Nope! Just a lie to get through to you.  
  
Treize: Ah, I see. So, what are the reasons for this call?  
  
Tori Hitokori: Let's get down to business so I can stop wasting our time. I want to put you  
into a pure hard-core fucking series of fanfiction. And I'm talking the first sentence you  
read is "Suck it you little cockhound........mmmmm kami" the wetness enveloped his shaft  
and swallowed him whole. "  
  
I hear Treize breathing increase over the phone.  
  
Treize: I do think that is so unbecoming of a gentle man, but on the contrary if you throw  
in a story with my dragon and we have a deal.  
  
Tori Hitokori: And what about Zechs? Will he join me in my quest to write the perfect  
plot what plot?  
  
Treize: Zechs what do you think?  
  
Zechs: mmmm hmmm mamufmhamma hmmmm  
  
Treize: hmmmmmm humming is a good thing, and I take that as a yes.  
  
Tori Hitokori: Good it is set then. Well, bai Treize, and don't choke poor Milliardo.  
  
Treize: Good day, and I will try but it's really hard.   
  
the phone call has ended.  
  
Treize pets Milliardo's head and says "Cockhound? Hmph, I think she knows you too  
well huh Milliardo?"   
Zechs: Mmmmmm hmmmm  
  
* the phone disappears with a small explosion of confetti, and everyone is awake*  
  
Trowa: cockhound?  
  
Duo: I think she is going to have us sounding like something out of a cheap porno movie,  
when she writes these fics.  
  
Tori Hitokori: I will take in to mind dialect, and the cheap porno lines serve there  
purpose. Ain't that right Tro-chan  
  
Trowa: *monotoneous* cockhound?  
  
* the others started busting out into laughter which in turn had awaken Wufei.*  
  
Wufei: KISAMA!  
  
Tori Hitokori: KISAMA and an Omea o korosu to you too.  
  
Duo: Quatre?  
  
Quatre: yes Duo?  
  
Duo: are you really a nympho?  
* he passes out and Trowa catches him*  
  
Duo: Trowa is he really cause hee-  
  
* once again his braid is stuffed into his mouth*  
  
Tori Hitokori: well enough of this conversation, I will get started on the pure plot what  
plots.  
  
* the lights go out and it's pitch black*  
  
Voice 1: Omea ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ko-  
  
Voice 2: Shut up you talk to much just let daddy handle every thing  
  
Voice 1: No I will- mmm ahhhhhh  
  
Voice 3: Why is it dark in here?  
  
Voice 4: why do you think?  
  
Voice 3: well since it's dark can we please play-  
  
Voice 4: all in do time but first let me........  
  
Voice 3: Ohhhhhh oh God mmmmmmmmmmm please!  
  
Voice 4: No I want you louder I wanna hear every sound because you sound so sexy!  
  
Voice 3: OHHHHHHHHH KAMIIIIIIII SAMAAAAAA PLEASE PLEASE!  
  
* there is small pitter patter of footsteps in the house which are barely heard over several  
voices*  
  
Voice 5: This is un- Who in the hell is touching my leg!?!  
  
Voice 6: Who do you think dragon?  
  
Voice 5: What mmmmmm  
  
Voice 7: Hmmm marphmm mmmmm hmmmm.  
  
Voice 6: See I told you dragon humping--err I mean humming is a good think isn't that  
right blondie  
  
Voice 7: mmmm hmmmm  
  
So then on later in the night the there was bump, and gunk, and some other junk. That  
was leather, creamy, and silky clean. Just the kinda things that would make you scream.  
So while the moment is right get a whip and strap your bishi tonight.  
because the joygasm would be a delight.  
Author's note: I kinda don't plan on doing a sequel, but if I get enough request I'll take the  
time, and think of some stuff to right to continue this. 


	2. The Myster Leads to Death

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam, or any products associated with it. I'm not getting  
paid, but I am being highly amused.  
  
Tori Hitokori: Who the fuck you calling bitch you shitty sounding transvestite hooker!  
  
* the gun is now laying at the back to my head*  
  
Tori Hitokori: You know you aren't really a trans-  
  
UPWIV: Shut up! Now you are going to * flip* that switch and turn on all the lights in  
this bitch!  
  
Tori Hitokori: But what about-  
  
UPWIV: Just shut up and do it!!!!  
  
* I reluctantly flip the switch on the fuse box*  
* upstairs the G-boys are found in various position.*  
  
Quatre: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!  
  
Trowa: .....( FUCKING HELL!)  
  
Heero: OMEA O KOROSU!  
  
Duo: FUCKINGMOTHERFUCKERSIMGONNAKICKYOURSORRYBITCHASSES  
  
Treize: Now whatever shall I'll do!  
  
Zechs: Mmmmy God!  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!  
  
* camera flashes went off, tape, camera, digital camera recorders went on. There were  
sketch artist, impressionist, and reporters crowded in the study, kitchen, and the  
bathroom*  
(for all the people playing along at home this is clue #1)  
  
Reporter 1: How do you feel about homosexuality Mr. Treize?  
  
Treize: Well if I'm fucking some kid up the ass, how do you think I feel!?!?  
* more pictures where taken*  
  
Zechs: Can someone please get that thing away from me  
* he swats off the utensil that's in his face*  
(for all the people playing along at home this is clue #2)  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!! NATUKU SAYS YOU WILL PAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
* a naked Wufei takes out an impressionist, and is set to kill another one*  
* else where in the house there are a mass of dead bodies on the floor, and Heero is  
cowering away from duo*  
  
Duo: Shinigami has returned!!!!!! I want blood and I want it NOW!! HEERO!!  
  
Heero: ye...yes?  
* Duo glomps Heero, and gives him a fire scorching. helluva passionate kiss.*  
  
Duo: Sorry 'bout scaring you koi, but you know if they got us then.....  
  
Heero: I'll destroy the evidence. You go get the others  
  
* With that he reached into the discarded pants and pull out a flame-thrower burning all  
the evidence, and dead bodies. Then he flushed the ashes*  
(for all of those playing along that is clue..fucking hell you know what clue it was and  
who's fucking who dammit I ruined my game. But ha you still have to find out in the  
words of Duo," who dunnit!" )* Duo left the room screaming*  
  
Duo: YOUR ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIE CAUSE THE GREAT SHINIGAMI HAS  
RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
* Quatre pulled out of his lover. He still had a raging hard on, and his lover hadn't came  
yet!!!! Oh somebody's gonna have hell to pay*  
  
Quatre: That's it! Who the fuck sent you!?!?!  
  
Reporter 2: Who's this mysterious man Winner-Sama? How long have you know him?  
  
Quatre: I'm going to give you people 3 seconds to answer my question or............  
  
* His eyes were starting to change it had maniacal glint in them. Just then a mime came  
up to Trowa and started pantoming*  
// Now everyone knows that ALL clowns are afraid of the dreaded MIME //  
* Trowa starts shaking and clutching protectively to his blonde lover's leg*  
  
Trowa: ....... *hurt puppy eyes* (Quatre I'm so scared)  
  
Quatre: THAT'S IT!!!!!!!  
  
* The blond boy ripped out the mime's tonsil's and windpipes.....//how's that for irony!//  
Just when Duo burst through the doors with a scythe Killing reporters destroying books,  
other shelved items. ( for all the people playing along, I'm fucking sick of saying this so I  
figure that you aren't retarded, and you can figure out the clues your own damned selves. I  
mean how do you think I feel! Well, how do you think I feel!?! Miserable just miserable!  
Having no meaning in life except telling clues that everyone gets. Taking away the  
mystery. I'm a failure. \\ out of now where comes a cheesecake, some ice cream, and a  
note that says love mommy\\ ^_^V)   
  
* Quatre started shaking violently, and the gates of the universe opened up. Around Duo a  
red aura appeared, and his eyes went blood red*  
  
Duo: ADVOCATOUS DIABOLOUS (devil's advocate I think) SHINIGAMI WILL  
HAVE YOU NOW!!!!  
  
* he killed some more people. While Quatre was levitating objects, the perpetrators, and  
kill destroyed the hole room in flash of light.*  
  
Trowa: ..... (Quatre your my heero)  
* Quatre glomped Trowa, and they all left to meet up with Heero in the kitchen.*  
  
(And can you believe that they were naked the whole time all this shit was happening.  
Unreal I tell you! UNREAL!)  
  
Now even though there was a bump, and a gunk, and some other junk the G-boys were  
now truly in a slump. When they got to the kitchen, they found not to their delight, a  
chained up Zechsy-poo who had been covered in slime. There was a ransom note on the  
fridge held up with a princess crown magnet. It read "I got your friends and there ain't shit  
you can do about it!" Now four nakie G-boys lay in a daze. Two lovers were hard, and all  
of them pissed off, and sex crazed. While poor Zechsy-poo just hung upside down, and  
sobbed, cause those nosey ass people took his employer and love.  
Author's note: Now I know I'm gonna have to right a trilogy, damned that Heresy bar.  
Well, I hope you enjoyed, and please R&R  
Shameless plugs: the clue, Carrie (the movie), the exorcist, and Dr. Suess (I love that  
man)  
(oh yeah and the flame thrower part, well when I use to live on a military sub division,  
there were these guys out in my back yard burning the pine trees with flame throwers. It  
was soo cool I wanted a flame thrower right then and there. SO, don't be surprised if you  
see them in any more of my fics)  
Please R&R would be nice. 


	3. We'll Catch the Dirty Culprits!

Disclaimer: I don't have to do a disclaimer cause I did it in the first chapter........So ha!  
In other disclosed locations  
  
Voice 1: That was brilliant Miss Relena, Just brilliant!  
  
Miss Relena: I know it was one of my better ideas wasn't?  
  
Voice 1: Most certainly!  
  
Miss Relena and her friend sat back and looked at there trophies  
  
Voice 2: You'll never get away with this!!!!  
  
Voice 1: But we already have.  
  
Voice 3: Yes someone will find out, and they'll come and save us.......Right?  
  
Voice 2: RIGHT!!!!!!  
  
* Relena's friends just continued to take more snap shots of their trophies*  
  
Miss Relena: This must be an injustice to pink tutu's I just don't think the color  
compliment his skin tone....it's too pale  
  
Voice 1: Don't worry when we develop the picture the color will look much better, but  
Miss Relena I have one question?  
  
Miss Relena: Yes?  
  
Voice 1: What shall we do with the pictures?  
  
Miss Relena: E-mail them to the Gundam Pilots of course.  
  
Voice 1: Brilliant......just Brilliant  
* Else where at the Gundam's safe house*  
  
Quatre: Someone untie Zechs  
  
* Heero quickly obliged, by aiming the flame-thrower as Zechs and burning a smidgen of  
the rope*  
  
Zechs: Oomph....thanks Heero.  
  
Heero: hn  
  
Duo: I want to know who in the fuck did this! I mean this is bullshit.  
  
* while Duo was ranting Trowa was sitting under the kitchen table*  
  
Trowa:.........  
  
Duo: Quatre what's wrong with Trowa? I mean he has stayed with the CIRCUS, and he's  
a GUNDAM PILOT!  
  
Quatre: There was a mime in there.  
  
* Quatre went over to the kitchen table*  
  
Quatre: Come over here Trowa, Trowa, Trowa  
  
* He shook his head no continuously*  
  
Quatre: I'll get you some cotton candy  
  
* He shook his head no only a little*  
  
Duo: I know a way to get him from under the table  
  
* a naked Duo pulled up a chair to the table and sat with his legs open (yeah I know this  
is really hentai..........but it gets worse)*  
  
Duo: Hey Tro...while ya' down there ya' mind suckin' my cock?  
  
* Heero, Zechs, and Quatre facefaulted. Trowa looked at Duo, and moved over to his  
thigh. Rubbing on.*  
  
Duo: Shit!  
  
* Duo fell out of his chair.*  
  
Trowa: .........Hmmm  
  
* He got up from the table, and gave Quatre a hug*  
  
Trowa: (whisper) spist spist spist  
  
* Quatre blushed*  
  
Quatre: OK.  
  
Duo: I told you it would work!  
  
* Recovering from his facefault Heero slapped Duo*  
  
Heero: Omea o korosu  
  
* He raised his flame thrower and aimed it at Duo*  
  
Duo: Was just trying to help Trowa  
  
* He was just about to pull the trigger(?)*  
  
Quatre: WE MUSTN'T BE FIGHTING YOU GUYS  
  
Zechs: He's right, and besides we still have to find out who did this.  
  
Heero: Relena that psycho stalking bitch....Omea o korosu, and I mean it his time  
  
Zechs: That's my sister, and I don't think it was her, she's not that good at planning an  
ambush as good as this. However, it is like her do get someone else to do her dirty work  
for her.  
  
Quatre: You have a point, but my Uchuu no kokoro is telling me it isn't her or............(get  
a little afraid) DOROTHY  
* Dr. Evil's 1 billion dollar theme pops out of the background*  
  
Duo: (I'm not in SDDI, but I think this should do the society justice) OK lemme' see, just  
a moment ago were screwing like bunnies. Before that we were talking with a fanfic  
author........she has to know who did this shit. I mean after all she wrote it didn't she?  
  
Trowa: Good point, but the question is where is she, and do you actually think she'll do  
anymore self insertions?  
  
Zechs: Well she might, but we'd have to do some whorish stuff or just plain kinky.....she's  
sick in the head like that.  
  
*Heero's eye riveted to Duo's, who gave him a wink, and then to Zechs*  
  
Heero: Like what?  
  
Quatre: I always thought Duo was the kinky one not you, but-  
  
* Trowa had covered Quatre's hentai talkin' mouth*  
  
Trowa: .....excuse him  
  
Duo: No offense taken Tro-chan I mean we are practically standing here naked, and  
talkin' like we are fully dressed about the whether. OH yeah, and Tro- would you have  
really sucked my-  
  
* Heero put his hand over his mouth, dropping his flame thrower*  
  
Heero: Omea o korosu.......BAKA  
  
Zechs: Can we please stay on subject.....it's hard to believe these are the infamous  
Gundam pilots.  
  
* Duo gives Trowa a predatorily stare, and is given the "zero-glare-o-hell"(tm) by  
Quatre*  
  
Duo: Yeah....so what were we talkin' bout again  
  
Heero: All the hentai things we need to do...........to get the author here.  
  
Trowa: Took you long enough to figure out why we need to do the kinky things.  
  
Quatre: TROWA!  
  
Trowa: your just as hentai as he is.........zinger boy.  
* Quatre blushed nine shades of nakie crimson*  
  
Quatre: well......you....well you are TOO!  
  
Duo: Did you just say something about my Hot Horny Heero (I just lost those SDDI  
brownie points)  
  
Trowa: Yeah I said something about your bitch!  
  
Heero: who you callin' bitch CLOWN BOY  
  
Quatre: You SPANDEX BOY!!!!!...........Jezzz as hentai as you fucking are you'd think  
you'd wear something that covers your hard-ons better!  
  
Duo: That's it NO FUCKIN' BODY calls Hee-Chan SPANDEX BOY, but me  
* Duo tackled Quatre, and Trowa tackled Duo, and Heero tackled Trowa*  
  
Heero: Yeah, and shut up about spandex Trowa, they're better than those tight ass jeans of  
yours.....talk about not hiding a bulge....my ass you of all people should no about that!  
  
Trowa: Bite me  
  
Duo: Okay  
  
Heero: I know you are into that kinky shit anyway. Right Quatre?  
  
Quatre: Fuck you Heero  
  
Duo: NO....that's my occupation  
* they continued to beat each other (nakie might I add) Zechs just observed the madness  
then his calm elegant persona snapped*  
  
Zechs: ENOUGH!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND GET OFF OF EACH OTHER NOW!  
* silence....a pin drops......and another pin drops. Then the pilots get themselves untangled  
and off the floor standing at attention (not in that area you hentais)*  
  
Zechs: GO AND GET CLEANED UP.....FUCK! BATH! JUST COME BACK WHEN  
YOU ARE SANE AND DRESSED!  
  
All the pilots: Yes SIR!  
  
* They leave to go their respected rooms, and get ah hem "refreshed"  
  
Voice 1: I really want to wear the pink.....please  
  
Voice 2: Okay only if your a good boy  
  
Voice 1: I'm a weally good boy.  
  
Voice 2: Oh yeah show me.  
* a second passes*  
  
Voice 2: Ummmm, yeah that's it good suck a little harder ummmmmmmmmmm  
  
Voice 1: mmmmmmmmmmmm  
  
Voice 2: I see you've been........ talking to Zechs......... again, I ne-----ver thought a bad  
influence could be ssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
gooooooooooooooooood!  
* another second passed*  
  
Voice 1: can I have my spanking now please?!  
  
Voice 2: Okay  
* there was the sound of smacks and whacks through out the house. BUT elsewhere*  
  
Voice 3: Kneel!  
  
Voice 4: An Arabian prince does not kneel  
  
Voice 3: Okay...........  
* there was a loud smack*  
  
Voice 4: Itai! OK  
  
Voice 3: Good.  
* a shuffle of body ligaments happen and second passes*  
  
Voice 4: Ummmmmmmm harder .......  
  
Voice 3: Ummmmmmmm  
* and yet still elsewhere*  
  
Voice 5: I need some relief  
* there is the crinkling of some candy wrappers  
  
Voice 5: Ohhhhhhh this lolli taste soooo good, but want something bigger to suck on  
  
Voice 5: mmmmmmmmmm really big, and hard  
* After "refreshing themselves they sat at the kitchen table*  
  
Duo: Did you guys do anything on this table?  
  
Zechs: We aren't that unrefined....we did it on the floor  
  
Heero and Trowa: hmmmmmmmmm  
  
Zechs: Anyway shall we get on with it? 


	4. The Plot Thickens!

Zechs: So shall we get on with it?  
  
Duo: Like, "Let's get it on!"   
  
*With those words the braided bishounen does a little wiggle of his hips*  
  
Quatre: Focus. We are supposed to be trying to get the author here smartie.  
  
Duo: Yes my intelligence is an admirable trait of mine  
  
Trowa: So don't we need to do something hentai to get the author here?  
  
* a groan escaped from zechs*  
  
Zechs: I thought you already did something hentai a few minutes ago?  
  
*Quatre and Duo a sported a cheeky grin at the blond and their respected lovers. While  
Heero remained stoic. Then Trowa walked up to Milliardo and whispered:*  
  
Trowa: That's what stamina is for, and I'm sure you have more endurance than that  
lollipop.  
  
*The murmured words were kept at such a soft tone that only Zechs heard it. Then he  
sported a very lovely rose tint to his cheeks. *  
  
Zechs: Ahem, that was none of your concern Barton. The question is do you think she'll  
fall for the bait.  
  
Heero: The odds of her falling for the bait is 75:100  
  
Quatre: But considering the fact that she left us in the dark the first time we were  
screwing, do you actually think she'll come. Even though she's a pervert......  
  
Duo: And a voyeur.  
  
Quatre: She is modest. So now what do we have to work with?  
  
*Trowa took a seat beside Duo at the counter. *  
  
Trowa: Hmmm, good point, but instead of getting bait for Hitokori-Chan, we should see  
what clues our culprits left. *standing up dramatically, with one hand raised in the air* To  
the Batmobile!  
  
* 5 sets of eyes were staring at the circus freak. *  
  
Everyone Except Trowa: O.O  
  
Zechs: So that's what stamina is for....the Batmobile......*he chuckled lightly*  
  
Duo: (rambling) Am I the only one not following this shit here. Wufei and Treize were  
kidnapped.......if that's possible since Treize is like old...so you guys are pedophiles or  
rapist. But how could you rape the willing? Then ninjas, mimes, and some other fucked  
up people start showing up taking pictures of us and we are ass freakin' naked. Then Me  
and Q-man go like exorcist or something. I don't even know what the fuck  
advocatus..whatever I said means. Then everyone goes and screws, while Zechs has to  
jack off. So what does LOLLIPOPS and STAMINA, have to do with this. Then there's  
that crown refrigerator magnet...  
  
Heero: SHUT UP BAKA!!  
* Duo gets a hurt puppy dog look on his face. He is starting to chibify*  
  
Quatre: My Uchuu no-  
  
Trowa: Don't let him chibify it took 3 days to get him to unchibify the last time.  
  
*Duo is eyes are growing bigger and bigger while his frame is getting smaller. He starts  
shaking from holding back tears. Heero quickly assess the situation. *  
  
Heero: Gomen Duo-bunny. Ashiteru.......  
  
Duo: Weally Hee-koi  
  
Heero: Weally Du-bunny. I love you......forever  
*He received a massive glomp attack from Duo, and was knocked on the floor*  
  
Zechs: I hate to ruin your moment-  
*Duo flashes a glare 10 times worse then Heero's and his eyes are glowing red*  
  
Duo: *demonic sounding voice* then don't.  
*Zechs backed away, and bumped into Quatre*  
  
Quatre: *whispering* Usually if he doesn't chibify on the spot, he needs a moment with  
Heero, and he if doesn't literally all hell breaks loose.  
  
Trowa: *also whispering* Let's go the living room....they might be here a while.  
Else Where  
  
Wufei: How in the hell did I get in here! This is INJUSTICE! KISAMA!!  
  
Treize: Calm down dragon, I just love seeing you like this ... all tied up and no where to  
go.  
*Wufei is chained to a chair, and is blindfolded, and such*  
  
Wufei: this is not the time to get horny! If you hadn't attacked me with that blond  
pedophile, I'd never be in this situation.  
  
Treize: So WE raped You.  
  
Wufei: Pretty much.  
  
Treize: on the contrary dragon-FEI, you can't rape the willing.  
*starts blushing*  
  
Wufei: Kisama! I want to know who is responsible for this cause when I find them they  
are dead!!!!DEAD!  
  
Back at Relena's  
  
Dorothy: Just perfect, absolutely perfect Miss Relena. Do you think they will be grateful  
to you for this?  
They better not be....that fucking Heero always getting in the way of my plans with  
Relena  
  
Relena: Yes, most undoubtedly. Why if Heero new I captured and tortured the Doctors  
who brought about their torment, he'd come running to me. I mean this is sooooo not like  
a pacifist.  
  
*The Doctor guy's are tied up and blind folded. Two guys in a a tutu (pink and purple),  
another in a cowboy outfit, and the other two look like mimes (I know I'm evil)  
  
Dr. J: You'll never get away with this Relena Peacecraft. Heero well come and rescue us.  
Yes my hot sexy solider will rescue his damsel in distress because he loves me  
  
Dorothy: (evil bitch tone) Shut up you old fool, I could kill you now. Damned Miss  
Relena's pacifist ways!  
  
Back at the G-Boys' living room.  
  
Quatre: What was Duo saying about when he was rambling  
* a moan is heard from he kitchen. "Harder Hee-koi*  
  
Zechs: I don't know, he was babbling on to fast.  
  
Trowa: Hmm....  
*They both look at Trowa*  
  
Zechs: Do you have an angle besides Relena...  
  
Trowa: Actually I think I do. They took Treize and Wufei right?  
  
Quatre: Well Duh!  
*He receives a glare of disapproval. Then shrugs it off. *  
  
Trowa: Quatre... *starting to get pissed*  
*Quatre still looks aloof then Trowa jumps on him, taking a a rope out of bang space tm.,  
He ties Quatre in a kneeling position *  
  
Zechs: ^_^;;  
  
Trowa: Ehem, as I was saying they took Treize and Wufei. Now why do you suppose that.  
We are all trained assassins, so who ever did it had to have some powerful contacts...  
  
Zechs: .  
*Zechs glancing at the bound Quatre. then grins like a weasel*  
  
Trowa: Are you paying attention lollipop boi?  
  
Zechs: *blushing* My name is-  
*Just then a refreshed Heero and Duo strolled in the living room and took a seat sitting  
down*  
  
Quatre: Cockhound...your name is cockhound blondie!?!  
  
Zechs: *turning cherry (cherry...heh good flavor) *   
*Duo burst out laughing along with Heero and Quatre. Trowa was the only who wasn't  
amused. *  
  
Trowa: ENOUGH SHUT UP! I know who took Treize and Wufei.  
*all eyes glanced at him in silence anticipating the answer. *  
  
Author's Note: It took me long enough to get on this with this story. My buddy Kyle has  
been adopted as my living muse so thank him not me. And the ending may be a surprise.. 


End file.
